So I made a mistake.
I spent too much on our wedding. I didn't think I would do it, since I'm pretty frugal. But... I did..
Here's what I learned:
Your soul needs to be filled. That means good people, good times and amazing memories.
It's hard though. In our Pinterest age, watching too much HBO, maybe making too many Target trips and we dream of material things. The perfect venue, the perfect touches. We decide how we'll impress, how we make it perfect, how to accommodate everyone except.. you.
Your wedding day matters. I love special details and touches, homemade arbors and delicious cakes. I adore it. How much of that do we actually need?
Here's a question:
Does our society hold weddings on a higher pedestal than the actual marriage?
While it's not wrong to want certain things, it's the uncontrollable craving for perfection and more, more, more that gets us deep into debt.
1. Choose Nostalgia
Pick a location that's important to you, somewhere you have a history with. Do you go for weekly hikes to Lester trail or Park Point? Check it out and see if your spot is available. Dressing your wedding with nature (instead of too many decorations) and feeling the history and nostalgia of your special venue will fill your soul and curb those cravings for material items. If you're not emotionally connected to the venues you're using, you'll likely feel a bigger urge to over-decorate and over-spend.
2. Spend Money On What Lasts
The cake will be eaten, the bridesmaid's dresses will be stuffed into a closet, the DJ will pack up and go home. You will have your gifts and your memories.
Do you have any photos of your mom and dad's wedding? Your grandparents? These are heirloom photographs, pieces of your history that can never be replaced. Your wedding photos are important. Like, hugely important to your family history, to your children and your grand kids. I know photographers are expensive, but when you do your research, meet with a few individuals and you are dead set on the photographer of your dreams, whether it's me or it's not, choose who fits you the best and don't be afraid to spend the money on what lasts.
3. Invite The People You Hug
So I'm about to get a little controversial.
If the bride or groom are not going to be hugging the guest when they see them, don't invite them. Just don't. Don't invite people you aren't going to be happy to see. More people means buying a bigger cake, more food and renting a bigger venue. Save the space and the time and invite the people who boogy on the dance floor with you, hug you and love you. Save this party for the best of the best!
4. Customize your Ceremony
Be it hand written vows, special prayer or throwing blessing rocks into Lake Superior, customize your ceremony to you as a couple.
Ryan and Anna had guests hold stones from Lake Superior and held them while they thought of prayers, blessings and good vibes for the couple. They were thrown into Lake Superior at the kiss.
Focus on sentiment and making memories, not buying stuff.
Filling your life with memories and relationship is greater than filling your home with all the best possessions and luxuries.
"Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal." - Matthew 6:20